I AM WORTHY. I AM ENOUGH. I AM LOVE. I AM STRENGTH. I AM COURAGE. I AM BEAUTIFUL.
These are words that I never thought were possible for me. I grew up feeling worthless and if you asked me to say out loud ‘I am beautiful’, I would have wanted to vomit… literally! I believe that a lot of us think that it is too late to create the life we have always dreamed of having… I can promise you that it is not!
Looking back at the person I was 18 months ago I would describe myself as an egg. My friends saw a bright bubbly person, that seemed like life was going according to plan but like an egg, I had a hard exterior and was ready to crack at any given moment.
My centre was filled with self-hatred and a toxic internal representation of myself. I used to fill my head with stories as to why I couldn’t have in life what I truly desired. I believed I wasn’t good enough, that I could only post perfect pictures on social media and that I could never let anybody fully see the depths of my soul because they were going to hurt me or leave.
I thought every single person I met in life was judging my path and I felt the need to be perfect all the time.
I like many others let the fear of somebody else’s opinion stop me from following my passion. Ten years ago, I tried to go to university but quit the day that they told me I was going to have to do a speech in front of the class. I had too much self-doubt from my past experiences of beauty pageants at a young age and not being desirable or very liked at school (literally, I was thrown in a bin!) which greatly impacted my ability to be seen in front of others. My fears had stopped me from succeeding in life.
I was riddled with anxiety and to be honest, I think if I spoke up at the time I probably would have been diagnosed with depression. I had panic attacks and would hyperventilate regularly when my partner was away at work (FIFO life) because when he was home, he was my security blanket. Almost like clockwork, the day after he left the self-hate and stories would start coming back and I would go back into that dark place, alone of course! There was no way I was going to let the world see me as ‘weak’.
Through my Arbonne business, I was introduced to the world of personal development… queue ego! When I first started, I actually thought I was fine, I thought the feelings I was experiencing was ok and that life was meant to be hard, nothing comes easy, right? WRONG!!! When we are truly on the right path and all aspects align, everything starts to fall into place, like literally everything!
Because I wanted to make my business work I began to open-up more to the idea of developing myself and it was the most incredible decision I have ever made! In the last year, I have grown my business substantially and tripled my monthly income, I took a university test without the fear I once had and even spoke on stage, I have allowed the people around me into my life whole heartedly and have begun to share what my life has truly been like which has only deepened each connection, I have found my purpose and my life is beginning to align.
In life the only person you have to spend the rest of your life with is YOU!!
At the start of this year I never thought I could put myself first, I never thought that I had the power to change the direction I was traveling, and I never thought I could dream globally. I thought change for myself was too late, but I took the chance to believe in myself and I am so proud to say that I finally love the person I see in the mirror!
Yes, I still have growth to do, we are all growing every day! But I finally feel free from the chains that were holding me back. Free from pain and suffering that my thoughts once created, and I have become that person on the inside that I so desperately want to be on the outside!
You are so worthy of the life you desire and your dreams becoming your reality! You have the power to choose yourself above all else! I challenge you to sit with your thoughts and truly listen to that voice inside because it is telling you something, it is guiding you to what you truly desire and toward what you are asking for. The only thing you need to take the first step in choosing you, is the courage to listen to that inner voice!